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Yellowknife Tours

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Yellowknife Tours
#1
舊 2020-04-28, 01:46
Canada Northern arctic is such a beautiful land! You will discover different jewels in different seasons! Glad to have an opportunity to learn the culture and share the unique experience with the people around the world!! Together we can make a difference !!!! Vision! Integrity! Never give up !!!









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Tahoma
#2
舊 2020-04-29, 09:15
客棧是中文網站, 用中文寫作不是比較合適嗎?

引用:
作者: Yellowknife Tours (原文章)
Canada Northern arctic is such a beautiful land! You will discover different jewels in different seasons! Glad to have an opportunity to learn the culture and share the unique experience with the people around the world!! Together we can make a difference !!!! Vision! Integrity! Never give up !!!
這篇比上一篇好多了, 但仍然有可以改進的空間。

Arctic 是專有名詞, 字首該用大寫, Arctic 一定指北極的, 不必再用 northern 形容, 沒有 southern Arctic, 所以 Canada northern arctic 應該是 Canadian Arctic。

"Glad to have an opportunity to learn the culture" 這句話是對應前一句話的主詞 You, 還是指妳自己? 文章的第一要件是清晰地表達意思, 不要讓讀者猜測含意, 看起來是指妳自己, 妳已經有體驗當地文化的經驗, 所以應該用現在完成式, 最好加上適當的主詞。
glad to have had the opportunity of learning the culture.

引用:
作者: Yellowknife Tours (原文章)
在這十年裏,極光看過很多次啊!好多人都會說你一定看到不願在看啦!這是我今年冬天剛帶完冬季的一個晚上,看到當晚的我,和客人一起在期待著極光女神來臨的那一刻,到真正來降臨在我們的頭頂上,一場龍飛鳳舞的表演在無窮的天空上跳舞,太興奮了! 我們就好想回到小時候,情不自禁的把真情流露出來啦!

Lots of friends always ask me you must have seen Aurora many times in all these years...Yea I did. Do I get bored with it? I remember these clips I have captured on my last tour for this season. I was patiently waiting for the Aurora with my guest when the Aurora shines through the sky dancing beautifully right above us just like a natural Dance performance just for us ......Wow! What powerful feelings !! How excited we are; !!!! Can't even control my true soul feelings
這篇的很多文法問題, 第一句結構不對, 好像兩個句子硬接在一起, 文章中的 Yea I did 和 I was patiently 用過去式, 其他是現在式, 一團混亂。

Shine 是用來表示強烈且持續的光亮, 太陽 shines, 明星 shine(s), 極光是忽隱忽現飄移萬變的, 所以不適合說 auroras shine, 用 glow, flare 比較適合。

true soul feelings 中的 soul 是名詞, soul 當形容詞時是和美國非裔文化有關的, soul 的一般形容詞是 soulful, 可以寫 soulful feelings, 或許用 spiritual feelings 更好, 關於 soul/soulful 和 spirit/spiritual 的用法是見仁見智, 受個人對宗教哲學之看法左右, 沒有定論。

連續多個驚嘆號是不合乎文法的, 過度使用驚嘆號也不是好的書寫方式, 在客棧內的非正式文章裡用之尚可, 但別養成習慣, 不要在正式的文章裡面用。
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旅遊路上We4
#3
舊 2020-05-07, 01:33
好美的日落!
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